Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Peer review-post for Alicia


alicia rosas said...

Hi Genia!

Reading through your graph, everything is understandable and I didn't catch any misspellings. The only sentence that I got caught on was "The most famous brands that produce lipsticks are: Lancome, Revlon, Cover Girl, Estee Lauder and L'Oreal." I would change "lipsticks" to "lipstick", or re-word the sentence so that it doesn't sound repetitive after your first one. Maybe try: "Lancome, Revlon, Cover Girl, Estee Lauder and L'Oreal are some of the most popular brand choices."

Another thing I noticed was that a good majority of your headers and your colored text start with "An average ______". I'm not sure if this is a problem or not in an information graphic, since everything should be labeled correctly, but as a reader it's a bit repetitive. I would try to find ways to vary it up a little bit, or maybe show us that all of this information is based on averages rather than writing it in each header?

Does "ingredients in a bra" sound weird? Maybe, "Caterpillar spit, dirt, crude oil and molten metal are several of the elements used to make a bra." I also don't know if "Little Black Book" needs to be capitalized. I know you're trying to specify the type of address book it actually is, but it seems strange to address it as a proper noun of some sort.

I hope all this is helpful!

genia narinskaya said...

It sure is helpful! Thank yooou!