First off, I think it would be cool to do a boy and a girl in our target audience- instead of just this Dan character. So...put 2 different personas on this poster. The poster lacks way too much content right now, compared to what other people had on their posters. I know you want it to be simple and direct, but I think it needs some more content. Instead of listing that tattoos make Dan feel sexy, rebellious and attractive (choose a different word because that is basically the same as sexy)...maybe just say that tattoos make him feel creative and unique. And then for the persona for the girl (make her 17 y/o) say that tattoos make her feel sexy and rebellious. You can do the same with values..keep indiviuality for him and acceptance for her or something like that. So split what you have now between 2 personas instead of just 1.
Also..you need some 100% white type to add some contrast.. I don't like that it is all the same color gray. Use some blue in it somewhere too. Maybe make Name, Age, Education, Employment, etc. WHITE and then make the line blue and the main text the gray that you have.
I don't like the picture you have of the snail shaped earring thingy... it looks weird lol.
Fix your grammar in the "needs for involvment" category.. You listed things but didn't use the word "and" before the last item.
Fix the sentence in "emotional connection" too. the comma is awkward..and not necessary.
SO..in summary. Shrink everything you have on the poster right now down so you can have room for the new persona about the girl. This way we are showing that we are including girls and guys in our community...not just some dude name dan who is a tattoo artist for a living. Maybe make all of his info in a long column on the left and then her info in a very similar column but on the right. Not sure what to do with the pictures, but try to figure something out. I like the circles but not sure about the overlapping of the 2.
Call me if u want to talk...but good job so far! It still needs some work though.
1 comment:
First off, I think it would be cool to do a boy and a girl in our target audience- instead of just this Dan character. So...put 2 different personas on this poster. The poster lacks way too much content right now, compared to what other people had on their posters. I know you want it to be simple and direct, but I think it needs some more content. Instead of listing that tattoos make Dan feel sexy, rebellious and attractive (choose a different word because that is basically the same as sexy)...maybe just say that tattoos make him feel creative and unique. And then for the persona for the girl (make her 17 y/o) say that tattoos make her feel sexy and rebellious. You can do the same with values..keep indiviuality for him and acceptance for her or something like that. So split what you have now between 2 personas instead of just 1.
Also..you need some 100% white type to add some contrast.. I don't like that it is all the same color gray. Use some blue in it somewhere too. Maybe make Name, Age, Education, Employment, etc. WHITE and then make the line blue and the main text the gray that you have.
I don't like the picture you have of the snail shaped earring thingy... it looks weird lol.
Fix your grammar in the "needs for involvment" category.. You listed things but didn't use the word "and" before the last item.
Fix the sentence in "emotional connection" too. the comma is awkward..and not necessary.
SO..in summary. Shrink everything you have on the poster right now down so you can have room for the new persona about the girl. This way we are showing that we are including girls and guys in our community...not just some dude name dan who is a tattoo artist for a living. Maybe make all of his info in a long column on the left and then her info in a very similar column but on the right. Not sure what to do with the pictures, but try to figure something out. I like the circles but not sure about the overlapping of the 2.
Call me if u want to talk...but good job so far! It still needs some work though.
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