Friday, December 5, 2008

Classmate Critique

Michael, you are welcome to critique here.
video

1 comment:

Michael May said...

Overall Concept: 8/10
There doesn't really seem to be a "story" here, but I can definitely get a feel for what is going on. All of your elements seem to function together pretty well in a way that is reminiscent of what you see in the genre on TV today.

Visual Form/Narrative Quality: 9/10
Your visual style is very nice, lot's of imagery that is pleasing to the eye with nice contrast between elements. I am a bit confused by the way the furniture seems to go into the graffiti band, from there it seems like the rest of the animation should focus on some type of "urban" setting, so it's a bit odd when all of the elements just leave the screen. I think your choices for objects to "wipe" the bands away was very nice, appropriate to the band in that each thing (sponge, spray can, roller) matches the method and color of the band. The amount of time devoted to the type seems a bit odd for what it's giving. It seems like it could be over with a lot faster.

Use of Duration: 6/10
For the most part things seem to be appropriately timed. I think the disappearing of the furniture is a bit long since it ends up having nothing to do with the narrative. The pause before the paint roller comes up seems a bit long because there is nothing going on while the viewer waits to see it. I like how your type functions at different speeds to push the objects off screen. After that though, it seems like too much time is being devoted to the movement of the type. The viewer can read the type pretty easily with the strong contrast and bold typeface, but then they have to wait for the full transition in--and--out.

Use of Motion: 7/10
I really like the motion of the bands at the start, and how they act as masks, it comes out looking very nice and clean. The motion of the furniture, again, is a bit confusing, I don't understand why it's moving the way it is. Using the objects to "paint over" the bands is really nice, but I think you could have pushed it a bit further and added another layer of motion to the objects. For example: the sponge could dab up and down, the spray can could move from side to side, or the paint roller could move up and down as it went (just like you do when painting to thicken the coat). The type starts off nice and dynamic, but it's a bit boring when it's leaving the screen, maybe you could have made use of some kind of painting motion (like the words being covered up by the roller). I do like the way the last two blocks of text are treated though, the way they move in and out looks really nice, though I do think some more painting motions would add to the overall feel and effect.

Use of Transition: 7/10
This is where I think you could improve the most. You have some very nice transitioning going on with the color bands that relates quite well to your overall narrative and it is working very well, however; I really would like to see this applied to the rest of the animation. some of your transitions seem arbitrary, like the furniture set scaling down and spinning and the type just sliding off the screen.

Your image channel is, without a doubt, the most important channel. From there, I would say the next most important is music, followed by text. I think more could have been done to make the text more...interesting(?) because it's a bit of a let-down, compared to the great visual appeal of your image channel. The sound is nice, the music seems to fit well, but some sound effects might have added something special (I don't know, just a suggestion).

I don't know if I would say you are breaking any conventions here, but that is also not a bad thing. I think your project matches the overall fell and aesthetic apparent in, and appropriate to, the genre. It reminds me very much of intros I have seen for home-improvement type shows.